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#FridayFacts: The Emotional Cup


It's been a busy day so far and this week's 'facts' are a bit later than usual. That's life though. This week's facts look at 'The Emotional Cup'.

It's really important that we do what we can as parents, teachers, aunties and uncles, grandparents, friends, healthcare staff and as any other significant person in a child's life, to help ensure their 'Emotional Cup' is filled, as much as it possible. Why? Because being soothed appropritely, being taken seriously, having feelings and experiences validated, being made to fee worthy and important and knowing that someone cares for them and they feel protected helps a child build their self-esteem and self-compassion, helps grow their identity, values and self-worth, helps them to manage and regulate feelings and emotions more appropriately and ensures they are more resilient and able to deal with stress, loss, conflict, distress and much more in the future, as adults.

We see so many people in psychotherapy, counselling and psychology who have not felt safe and secure growing up; who have not been validated or made to feel important; who have not been soothed appropriately when they have felt stress, fear or under threat in some way; who have not been taken seriously and who have not had the chance to build the inner resources they require to get through life.

All of this affects their attachment to themselves and to other people too and we often see people who find it difficult to trust others; who isolate themselves; who engage in self-harming behaviours; who are aggressive or angry; who overwork or are perfectionists; who find it difficult to like or love others; who people please; or who worry people will leave or reject them, esepcially if they get too close or find out the 'real' person underneath.

That's a lot that's going in for one person, isn't it. Yet, as adults, we can help this by ensuring the 'Emotional Cups' of our children are filled as much as they can be. Yes, that's hard sometimes, of course it is. However, every little helps (apologies for the Tesco slogan!).

You may, as an adult, even recognise yourself in the picture below. And if you do, and you need someone to talk to, we are here to listen and support. No pressure, no hurry, no judgement.

Thanks for reading. Have a lovely weekend whatever you are doing and take a little time for yourself this weekend. Meet some of your own needs for a change.

Best wishes, Alexandra


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